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no choice

Filipinas at the Age of Modern Romance

BY SARAH GALVEZ AND DANICA LACSON

With her red lipstick, a bit of eyeliner, and her long wavy dyed hair, Juana could pass younger than her original age of 55. Juana is beautiful even if she wears only a plain white shirt and olive pants.

Every day, she waits inside the sari-sari booth of the Amore KTV Bar at Kamias Road, watching hundreds of cars pass by, watching different men enter the said Bar. Foreigners or locals, she sees them. Sometimes, she has to be a waitress or an escort when they are too many.

For almost two years now,  she has been living in the bar, a three-story building with basic accommodations. It became her sanctuary and even if working in that condition with the possibility of getting harassed and abused, she chose to stay because it’s the only way she sees to get out of poverty.

Juana’s life mirrors the cruel reality of today’s society where opportunities are limited and forces Filipinos, left with “no choice”, to enter into illegal and hazardous jobs and fall victim to dangerous schemes such as mail order brides/grooms.

“These women, with the motivation to help their families and create a better life for them, often become the target of exploitation by foreign men who purchase them as brides,” the Commission on Filipino Overseas (CFO) reported in 2016 in response to the passing of Republic Act 10906 or the “Anti-Mail Order Spouse Law” in 2015, which widened the scope of RA 6955 or the “Mail Order Bride Act of 1990”.

Since 1989 to 2015, there were a total of 499,436 Filipino spouses who were sponsored for visas and traveled by foreign nationals, according to Commission on Filipino Overseas (CFO). The United States of America (USA) ranks as the top destination with 43.26 percent or a total of 216,037. Aside from USA, countries like Japan, Canada and Australia are top-country destinations of Filipino spouses and partners.

CFO also recorded the age of these Filipinos, which ranges from 18 years old to over 70 years of age. Filipinos aged 25 to 29 occupy the biggest pie share in age group with 153,339.

And more than 66,000 of these cases began through the internet. Despite of the widened scope of RA 10906 that bans schemes, practices,or businesses such as bars and online dating sites that matches a Filipino men or women to a foreign national for marriage,  a study conducted by Chu-Mei Liu and Kuang-Jung Chen of Ching Yun University in Taiwan on the mail order bride practice in the Philippines reveals that there are over 16,000 search results using the keywords “Filipina Mail Order Bride” from five search engines such as Yahoo, Lycos, Mozilla, Search and Excite. A random search on Google with the same keywords gave a total of 253 search results. These amount of data shows the continues proliferation of mail order bride activities in the age of Internet and amid the heightened law against it.

In the mail order bride scheme or marriage broker business, a foreigner goes through a catalogue of women, then pays the broker a fee, asks the bride to come with them abroad, and petition or sponsors the wife’s citizenship.

The advent of the internet also allowed the new modus operandi of marriage brokers to come into play. According to a series of website reviews from the University of Hawaii, the broker guise itself as a legitimate dating site which allows client to select women or men based on his or her preferences. However, after finding a match, a payment must be made to access additional information and contact details of the potential spouse. Aside from this, another format is a “romance trip” which costs $2,000 (about Php 100,000)  and above. The trip can last from one to two weeks, covers two to three cities and ends in marriage.

Filipina-brides.net, a US-based website, claims to have a database of 200 Filipino women in a network of 40,000 around the world. Another site, Filipino Cupid, is said to have about 2,500 members online. Other websites offer memberships of $30 (about Php 1,500) which give them access to 100 e-mail addresses, directing their messages to their target bride. The membership fee also allows these foreign men to talk to the women before flying over to the country.

  Mail ordering of spouse is a way of commodifying men. If you do mail order, it’s like you’re selling people. Because there is lack of opportunity in the country, Filipinas have no choice but to look for other ways to become rich or just to survive even."

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Prof. Marion Tan,
UP Diliman

Image source: upd.edu.ph

Marriage broker businesses, for University of the Philippines (UP) Diliman Social Work professor Marion Tan, is a form of exploitation of single Filipinos who are in search for money. “Mail ordering of spouse is a way of commodifying men,” Tan said. “If you do mail order, it’s like you’re selling people.”

The prevalence of marriage broker or mail ordering of spouse is largely rooted to poverty as most potential mail order spouse expect financial rewards in entering the dangerous scheme.

“Because there is lack of opportunity in the country, they have no choice but to look for other ways to become rich or just to survive even,” Tan said. She added that instead of a spouse, Filipinos who participate in mail order are actually looking for a job.

Most of the Filipino spouses who were sponsored for visas and traveled by foreign nationals from 1989 to 2015, 15.39 percent or 76,845 are housewives, while over 179,849 has no reported occupation according to CFO.

 

A thread with over 10,000 comments in American social news aggregation and discussion website Reddit offered insights on the mail order brides from Russia and the Philippines. According to one commenter, his wife “seemed like she was just doing a job.” One user, on the one hand, wrote, that the wife seemed to be under the impression that a man was to be kept like a king and she was there for food and sex. However, the biggest surprise, according to him, was that his wife was sending money back home to her husband and kids in the Philippines.

 

CFO immigrant service officer Camille Lacaba, in a press release, did not deny that most Filipino women who got married under the scheme want to help their families for economic reasons. But the immigrant service officer has also cautioned the public against the mail order bride modus operandi that leads to human trafficking. According to her, the commission has received quite a number of complaints from Filipino wives of abuses committed by their foreign husbands.

 

Chita,  a 45-year-old teacher who submitted her photo to an agency to find a husband that would support her family and get her out of marriage anxiety, ended up being abused by her stepchildren.

 

Others, like 25-year-old Susana Remerata, lose their lives in the hands of their foreign partners. The 25-year-old Filipina married 47-year-old lab technician Timothy Blackwell in 1995. But the marriage lasted barely two weeks and ended up in the tragic death of Remerata and her unborn child, along with two of her friends when Blackwell opened fire as the three women were sitting on a bench on the second floor of the King County Courthouse.

 

Although RA 10906 claims to protect Filipinos from abuse and exploitation by mail order spouse businesses or marriage brokers by increasing the maximum penalty from Php 500,000 to 1 million and prison time from six to eight years to 15 years, as well as, including males as potential victims and expanding the term into mail order spouse, the Anti-Mail Order Spouse Law does not cover possible transactions in social media or draw a clear line between legitimate dating sites.

 

Tan considers this a problem. According to her, social media and dating sites are heavily being used by such businesses and some sites can circumvent the law by doing business indirectly. Unfortunately, the law has no provision on surveillance of these dating sites, which makes it easier for businessmen to continue and promote the illegal conduct.

 

In her study of different mail order brides, immigration scholar Nicole Constable, argues that Filipino women should be viewed as having other motivations other than getting out of poverty.

 

Shaira, a 21-year-old licensed Psychometrician, met her partner of Danish nationality on an online forum back in 2012. “We both became members of One Piece forum and from there, we started exchanging private messages from time to time,” she recounted. But it was only in 2015 when communication between the two became constant via instant messaging app Skype. In January 27 of this year, during her partner’s visit and their first face-to-face meeting, the relationship became official.

 

Shaira shared that she and her partner have talked about their future plans and have arranged a probable set-up for their relationship. After giving up her option to go to medical school, she intends to take up her Master’s abroad. “I will study in Germany or United Kingdom, and we’ll move in together at his apartment in Denmark,” she said.

 

She also admitted that her partner’s parents were “suspicious” of her at first because of the pervasive perception on Filipinos marrying foreigners for money. “His mom’s initial reaction was ‘Don’t give her money’,” she said.

 

For Shaira, meeting someone online can be very intimidating, but then, she believes once you are a smart user and aware of the dangers your online activities may post, building a relationship in that platform may be possible.

However, regardless of the motivation and platform utilized in finding and looking for a partner, the issues remain unresolved and business and schemes like mail order spouse continue to proliferate despite the said heightened provisions of the laws. The issue on the mail order spouse remain rooted in a bigger issue of poverty and of the need for further measures to protect Filipinos from exploitation and abuse.#

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